SecUnit (Murderbot) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
serialskiller) wrote2022-03-05 09:19 pm
serialskiller) wrote2022-03-05 09:19 pm
SAIL IC Inbox
Messages will be answered when I'm done with this episode of my serial.
Messages will be answered when I'm done with this episode of my serial.
Hapenede to fast
You wre e gone befor i coudl do anyhhing
("They all say that.")
Nobodyposss posesde poeddeds FUCK took yuor body thouhg
Not that it would have mattered. But since SecUnit is back, he figures it might help to know.
You wre e gone befor i coudl do anyhhing
("They all say that.")
Nobody
Not that it would have mattered. But since SecUnit is back, he figures it might help to know.
Good. That's all that matters. My body has been used for massacre before. This time, dying was the best outcome.
Why! Does everyone he cares about! Keep saying that!!!
No
Nobdy dying wsa t e bsst utcome
I couldnt asve rich or ossie or giles or dar cy o r you
Couldn t do anything
No
Nobdy dying wsa t e bsst utcome
I couldnt asve rich or ossie or giles or dar cy o r you
Couldn t do anything
I'm a SecUnit. You're a human. Saving me is never your job.
Fuck it.
Dimitri excuses himself to Fio, and steps out of the cabin to find a stairwell private enough to shout at his phone.
I don't care what you are!
I'm supposed to protect! That's my job! That's the last thing that makes me a person and I can't even do that!
Everyone I love dies in front of me and I cannot stop it from happening!
And I keep being told that it's fine and death is fine and I shouldn't care
It's!
Not!
Fine!
He hurls his phone across the stairwell hard enough it dents the wall with a crunch, and crumples into a ball against the corner.
Dimitri excuses himself to Fio, and steps out of the cabin to find a stairwell private enough to shout at his phone.
I don't care what you are!
I'm supposed to protect! That's my job! That's the last thing that makes me a person and I can't even do that!
Everyone I love dies in front of me and I cannot stop it from happening!
And I keep being told that it's fine and death is fine and I shouldn't care
It's!
Not!
Fine!
He hurls his phone across the stairwell hard enough it dents the wall with a crunch, and crumples into a ball against the corner.
Edited 2022-11-10 00:36 (UTC)
Murderbot sends its drones out across the ship to try to find Dimitri, concerned.
Dimitri's not leaving that stairwell. He picks his head up at the faint whirr of a drone, glaring at it with red-rimmed eyes. "I'm going to care," he snarls. "Whether you want me to or not."
"I know you are. I know I can't change what people feel."
There's a vague undertone of exasperation, though the drone's tiny speakers render it a bit hard to tell what it's emoting beyond that.
There's a vague undertone of exasperation, though the drone's tiny speakers render it a bit hard to tell what it's emoting beyond that.
"It hurt to watch someone I care about die. It hurts that I couldn't do anything to prevent it. Does that make sense? Am I insane? Why does no one seem to understand that?"
Dimitri buries his head back in his arms.
"Glenn, and Dedue, and Darcy, and you. What do I have to do to believe that the people I love won't die the moment I turn my back? Why do you all keep insisting it's okay?"
Dimitri buries his head back in his arms.
"Glenn, and Dedue, and Darcy, and you. What do I have to do to believe that the people I love won't die the moment I turn my back? Why do you all keep insisting it's okay?"
Edited 2022-11-11 18:56 (UTC)
"Love?"
That's not doubt, that's confusion.
"What do you mean?"
That's not doubt, that's confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know! I don't know why I love people, it just happens -- oh, yes, and Ossie going out to find Ginger without asking for help like he promised, why does this keep happening? -- you're kind! You care! You want to be more than what you were made for and, and you made me feel like I could, too, and I love you for that!" Dimitri sniffs and scrubs his wrist across his eyes. "I don't. I don't wish I loved less than I do. But Saints alive it wouldn't hurt so goddamn much."
Edited 2022-11-11 19:17 (UTC)
The drone hovers silently for several minutes.
And then Murderbot it-proper-self turns up. No blanket. No supplies. Just. A murderbot that was never meant to be loved. In a stairwell with a prince with too large a heart.
It doesn't know what to say. It doesn't have answers. But it is here.
And then Murderbot it-proper-self turns up. No blanket. No supplies. Just. A murderbot that was never meant to be loved. In a stairwell with a prince with too large a heart.
It doesn't know what to say. It doesn't have answers. But it is here.
Quick question, when you have a moment:
Do you happen to fly your drones consistently near the bridge?
Regularly, yes. Consistently...define that more clearly before I can answer. Why?
Let's say, at least once every twelve hours?
I'm trying to find out if Ava and Darcy are the only other people to visit the bridge on a regular basis. Most people seem to find Friday more palatable, so I assume he doesn't get many visitors.
More than you might expect, though most aren't regular. I've been twice. The second time, he didn't deign to talk to me, but I knew that might happen.
Any guess as to how many of those people he actually speaks to?
He can be tricky to lure out. Did you do anything differently?
I was watching a Bob Ross video instead of Sanctuary Moon. Should have known he prefers only fiction, look at the library.
Friday hung the painting I did while watching behind her desk though, so she at least appreciated it.
As for how many he speaks to, most. As long as he's curious.
Friday hung the painting I did while watching behind her desk though, so she at least appreciated it.
As for how many he speaks to, most. As long as he's curious.
He does have a pretty clear preference. He got very sullen the one time I asked about it. I'm glad to know someone benefited from your visit.
That's a good thing, although I'm sure those who've only visited once would disagree. His curiosity about people ensures he won't disengage the way he did last month. And the more people he talks to, the more interested he'll be in our continuing survival.
You know, he seems to feel you talking about him is a little weird. He asked about that, the one time I did talk to him.
Oh, also, I got another of the really weird sundries gifts, the kind I need to remember to tell Max about because he’s bound to freak out about it.
…though maybe telling Skulduggery counts?
Oh, also, I got another of the really weird sundries gifts, the kind I need to remember to tell Max about because he’s bound to freak out about it.
…though maybe telling Skulduggery counts?
Did he now? Well, that's alright. I'm sure he'll grow to love it in time.
The sort that changes you physically/mentally/emotionally, I assume, and not another box-set of Bob Ross videos. My interest is at an all-time high, if you're willing to indulge it.
You are absolutely right, Maximilien is going to hate that. I'm going to save the electric sheep joke in case it happens to him, even if he punches me into bonemeal for it.
Did you previously have to recharge? If so, how is this different?
My previous recharge state involved a complete system shutdown and recharge. Now, I fall unconscious and am capable of being roused mid-rest period, and I wake up with junk data in my memory buffer.
Also, preliminary data indicates more sleep may be necessary than recharge time was. I was working with a set two hour recharge per day, before.
Also, preliminary data indicates more sleep may be necessary than recharge time was. I was working with a set two hour recharge per day, before.
Hm. My instinct at this point is to offer condolences: it seems as though sleeping might not be as convenient a method as you're used to. Although I imagine being able to wake up mid-rest may come in handy.
I assume by "junk data" you mean dreams?
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