SecUnit (Murderbot) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
serialskiller) wrote2022-03-05 09:19 pm
serialskiller) wrote2022-03-05 09:19 pm
SAIL IC Inbox
Messages will be answered when I'm done with this episode of my serial.
Messages will be answered when I'm done with this episode of my serial.
Next, your ankles. Roll your feet and then relax your ankles.
[It will go slowly up the body, joint by joint. Methodical, calm. From ankles to knees to hips--up through to shoulders and down to fingers. Neck and chin. Watching to see if there's any improvement along the way.]
[It will go slowly up the body, joint by joint. Methodical, calm. From ankles to knees to hips--up through to shoulders and down to fingers. Neck and chin. Watching to see if there's any improvement along the way.]
[By the time he gets to his wrists he is slightly better, none of the jerky marionette movements he'd been doing earlier. And he shockingly doesn't comment on the fact he's wearing the pants with the busted and patched knees thanks to their first meeting.
Other things are occupying his processors right now.]
How do you know to do this?
[Because none of this would have occurred to him, he would have stayed on his floor short circuiting until he eventually shut down completely and Maeve found him when she came home.]
Other things are occupying his processors right now.]
How do you know to do this?
[Because none of this would have occurred to him, he would have stayed on his floor short circuiting until he eventually shut down completely and Maeve found him when she came home.]
This happens to me at least once a week. I spend maybe ten to fifteen percent of the time in a similar but less complete state of anxiety.
I'm glad, that you've never hit this state before. It sucks.
I'm glad, that you've never hit this state before. It sucks.
[He stares at it because what the fuck? ]
Ten percent? How do you even function the other ninety?
[ He already feels like he's gonna be useless for a week.]
Ten percent? How do you even function the other ninety?
[ He already feels like he's gonna be useless for a week.]
Force of will. When my governor module was active, I wasn't allowed to show any of this outwardly. It was all internal processes. Here on the ship...I buffer less and display more and weirdly enough, that helps somewhat. Not completely--never completely. But enough that I'm doing alright here, mostly. Enough that you didn't realize it.
[But would he have? Max wasn't looking for this at any point in Murderbot, was he?]
[But would he have? Max wasn't looking for this at any point in Murderbot, was he?]
I didn't realize it because I didn't even know this was a thing that could happen. At least not without being infected with malicious code or hacked.
[The fact he did this to himself somehow? That's extra horrifying. He doesn't even have anyone to blame for this.]
What causes this other than nebulous emotions because I would like to avoid this ever happening again. If that's even possible since I presume if it was that easy you wouldn't spend a substantial amount of time in this state. Ideally neither of us would ever have to deal with this for.. forever would be a decent amount of time I think.
[The fact he did this to himself somehow? That's extra horrifying. He doesn't even have anyone to blame for this.]
What causes this other than nebulous emotions because I would like to avoid this ever happening again. If that's even possible since I presume if it was that easy you wouldn't spend a substantial amount of time in this state. Ideally neither of us would ever have to deal with this for.. forever would be a decent amount of time I think.
Enduring large amounts of stress in a short period of time without being able to process it. Which is kind of our lives here. You seem to have a higher tolerance, or perhaps a greater ability to compartmentalize, though. Which might be attributed to being fully inorganic.
Ah.
Yes.
That would.... hn.
[ Suddenly he knows exactly what caused this. And while its not likely to happen again(?) The threat that it could almost sets him off again. But he manages to brace himself, hunching up further into the blanket and looking vaguely pathetic.]
It's not so much tolerance as being able to redirect stress into anger. And I wasn't able to do that today.
Yes.
That would.... hn.
[ Suddenly he knows exactly what caused this. And while its not likely to happen again(?) The threat that it could almost sets him off again. But he manages to brace himself, hunching up further into the blanket and looking vaguely pathetic.]
It's not so much tolerance as being able to redirect stress into anger. And I wasn't able to do that today.
You were on the island with Skulduggery after the rest of us left.
[This is absolutely not a question. Nor is there any hint of surprise to it.]
[This is absolutely not a question. Nor is there any hint of surprise to it.]
[They get back later in the night. In between helping Ava and Jade back to their rooms and heading up to the bridge, Skulduggery manages to keep his word:]
Back. Will debrief you later. Everything OK here?
Yes. All OK. Massive hangovers expected in the morning.
Yes.
[No use in lying, if Murderbot was patrolling around likely it was the last one on the boats ensuring everyone's safety. It'd know Max didn't come back to the ship.]
He asked some of us to stay. It was... not precisely what I expected.
[No use in lying, if Murderbot was patrolling around likely it was the last one on the boats ensuring everyone's safety. It'd know Max didn't come back to the ship.]
He asked some of us to stay. It was... not precisely what I expected.
Yes. Hangovers all around.
[...he should probably warn somebody.]You should know. Jenny was on the island. She's now on the ship.
She is going to be a passenger again. I don't expect her to react well.
She was going to die and there was no time to debate.
I did what Friday asked.
Erin attends to her new guard duties like clockwork; they seem relaxing to her, in some ways. It's something to do that concretely helps someone else, yes, but it's also given her a role, however small, in her new community. Today's is not terribly different from any other, at least until SecUnit boots. Erin is at her post, but sitting on the bed is a case that is.
Very.
Very full.
Of DVDs.
"You got somewhere urgent to be, SecUnit?" Erin asks. The affected indifference isn't affected enough; she's excited about something. "Found a favor to shake you down for, but I think you might like it."
Very.
Very full.
Of DVDs.
"You got somewhere urgent to be, SecUnit?" Erin asks. The affected indifference isn't affected enough; she's excited about something. "Found a favor to shake you down for, but I think you might like it."
"Are these old-timey media discs?" Sorry, Erin, your affected indifference is nothing in the face of sheer cyborg glee as it picks up the case without even asking, eyes almost twinkling and not just from LEDs or anything.
"God," Erin laughs. "Way to make me feel old, but yes. They're falling out of vogue as a format even back home. Friday seems to have just left them for me. They're some of my very favorites, and I'm thinking about celebrating by showing them to everyone. I'll need some help with that, though, and you're equipped to give it."
"What, do you need to borrow the aux cord? The one for the adult pool projector? I think that's still somewhere in the cabin."
And it will totally find it in order to get something new to watch, no hesitation.
And it will totally find it in order to get something new to watch, no hesitation.
"Yes! But," Erin holds up a finger, "I also need to make invitations, and you, buddy, have both eyeballs and a confessed inability to draw and write. Also uh."
She coughs, "I should probably have someone with eyes watch the ones I want to show first to make sure they haven't been altered into something horrific. I dunno the Captain's sense of humor."
She coughs, "I should probably have someone with eyes watch the ones I want to show first to make sure they haven't been altered into something horrific. I dunno the Captain's sense of humor."
"I will try to draw invitations for you, if you let me watch these with you."
It sounds eager, in a way it almost never is. New media? Media someone else is vouching for? That's awesome, totally made its day.
"Though I wouldn't expect the Captain to alter them. If anything, he might have watched them before passing them along to you. He's a media buff, even a bit of a nerd."
It sounds eager, in a way it almost never is. New media? Media someone else is vouching for? That's awesome, totally made its day.
"Though I wouldn't expect the Captain to alter them. If anything, he might have watched them before passing them along to you. He's a media buff, even a bit of a nerd."
"Then the two you're looking for are Muppet Treasure Island and Muppet Christmas Carol," Erin instructs. "I might put others on if the party keeps going but those are the big two for me personally...and also I want to put the actual-ass pirates on this ship through Treasure Island. Something you gotta understand is..."
She trails off, thoughtfully. "Actually. Are you...does...this Corporate Rim of your have fandoms as a concept? Do you engage with others who are into your serials?"
She trails off, thoughtfully. "Actually. Are you...does...this Corporate Rim of your have fandoms as a concept? Do you engage with others who are into your serials?"
“Not openly. I post anonymously only. But, uh. I loudly yell about fan theory and read fic. Though I don’t engage in any pairing content, for reasons we’ve already discussed.”
It may have written fic too, but it’s not about to admit that aloud yet.
It may have written fic too, but it’s not about to admit that aloud yet.
"Fucking glorious!" Erin claps her hands in genuine excitement. "Then the thing you need to understand is that the Muppets are real actors and not, in any circumstance, not real actors, no matter what else you might see or hear to the contrary."
"...Actually, one of 'em is legally the only non-human person to testify before my homeland's government," she adds. Erin finds a spot on the floor to sit, her posture almost meditative. "...Hey." Her voice is softer now. "I realize I probably upset you the other day. But. If you have questions about anything I said...I'm trying to be more open about that, with..." the word 'people' dies on her lips. "Friends. I can't promise you answers if you ask questions. I can't promise not to upset you again. But you're free to ask."
"...Actually, one of 'em is legally the only non-human person to testify before my homeland's government," she adds. Erin finds a spot on the floor to sit, her posture almost meditative. "...Hey." Her voice is softer now. "I realize I probably upset you the other day. But. If you have questions about anything I said...I'm trying to be more open about that, with..." the word 'people' dies on her lips. "Friends. I can't promise you answers if you ask questions. I can't promise not to upset you again. But you're free to ask."
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