"Improvise. Together, though. Not making it up all alone. It takes a lot of trust."
A pause. It lifts her hand to its face, not to kiss her knuckles, but to rub against it with its cheek, not entirely unlike a cat. Just once, lightly, to see how she reacts.
If she could go more red, she would. For a second, she's just left speechless, as she realizes what's happened, vaguely registering her heart fluttering over it. Unfortunately, humans don't get the luxury of being able to turn off when emotionally overcome and trying to process a gesture.
“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Because clearly from her response it was a wrong thing to do. Bad SecUnit, no love for you. But that really isn’t an answer to her question now, is it? It is more concerned about upsetting her. About crossing a line.
If there's one surefire way to get Helena out of her own head, no matter how critical the emotional confusion, it's concern for someone else. Even if she's still got to calm down, the overriding thought is that she needs to convey there isn't an issue, apart from her own mind.
"I'm not upset, Security. I'm just surprised. You don't have to apologize for doing something I don't expect."
It wasn't a bad thing. That floods out all her own mixed up thoughts - the desire to clarify and explain and assure.
It hesitates, not reaching out immediately again. Quiet as it pauses to gather it’s own thoughts.
“I’m. Trying to learn how I want to touch people. How I want others to touch me. I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m not used to just. Being able to. It’s still a lot sometimes. I worry about doing it wrong. I worry about doing a lot of things wrong.”
She nods, taking that in, and more time to breathe soothes her mind. Her hand is still there, she's not retracting it, but she stays where she is while she finds all her words again.
"...if you're doing something that I don't like, I'll tell you. And vice versa - if I do something you don't like or want, tell me, so I can avoid it. Would that make it a bit easier?"
She already makes sure around it that she never says anything that implies that personhood equals humanity, and lets it decide how close it wants to sit.
"I want you to feel like you can worry less around me."
Hearing that, her expression shifts to a smile - a tiny one, but a real one, not made from politeness or to make someone else at ease. Just a little thing as her chest aches in a certain way.
"Then please, trust that I'll tell you if I'm not comfortable?" It doesn't have to mine her reactions for the truth. It can just have it outright.
"And I'll trust that you'll do the same, if you're uncomfortable."
This goes two ways, Security. The very last thing she wants is it to feel like it needs to bottle up discomfort, if they're trying to figure this out together.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-02-07 11:26 am (UTC)A pause. It lifts her hand to its face, not to kiss her knuckles, but to rub against it with its cheek, not entirely unlike a cat. Just once, lightly, to see how she reacts.
immortalizing the roll: 1
Date: 2023-02-07 12:19 pm (UTC)"...Why did you do that?"
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Date: 2023-02-07 12:24 pm (UTC)“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Because clearly from her response it was a wrong thing to do. Bad SecUnit, no love for you. But that really isn’t an answer to her question now, is it? It is more concerned about upsetting her. About crossing a line.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 12:38 pm (UTC)If there's one surefire way to get Helena out of her own head, no matter how critical the emotional confusion, it's concern for someone else. Even if she's still got to calm down, the overriding thought is that she needs to convey there isn't an issue, apart from her own mind.
"I'm not upset, Security. I'm just surprised. You don't have to apologize for doing something I don't expect."
It wasn't a bad thing. That floods out all her own mixed up thoughts - the desire to clarify and explain and assure.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 12:46 pm (UTC)“I’m. Trying to learn how I want to touch people. How I want others to touch me. I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m not used to just. Being able to. It’s still a lot sometimes. I worry about doing it wrong. I worry about doing a lot of things wrong.”
no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 08:35 pm (UTC)"...if you're doing something that I don't like, I'll tell you. And vice versa - if I do something you don't like or want, tell me, so I can avoid it. Would that make it a bit easier?"
She already makes sure around it that she never says anything that implies that personhood equals humanity, and lets it decide how close it wants to sit.
"I want you to feel like you can worry less around me."
no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 09:38 pm (UTC)And these are all aspects of love, too.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 10:48 pm (UTC)"Then please, trust that I'll tell you if I'm not comfortable?" It doesn't have to mine her reactions for the truth. It can just have it outright.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 10:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-02-07 11:23 pm (UTC)Very, very gently, she squeezes its hand.
"And I'll trust that you'll do the same, if you're uncomfortable."
This goes two ways, Security. The very last thing she wants is it to feel like it needs to bottle up discomfort, if they're trying to figure this out together.
no subject
Date: 2023-02-08 04:04 am (UTC)And it just. Just holds for now. Lets this be enough for its fluttering circulatory pump.