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[serialskiller]

Messages will be answered when I'm done with this episode of my serial.

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[decrypter]

There. She makes her way over, clearly in a good mood, because all of this has been going well. People are liking these, and it fills her with happiness to know they're well received.

"What did you paint today?"

[serialskiller]

"The habitat where the last survey team I worked with lived, during the survey. The planet's air wasn't human-breathable, so they needed a sealed, pressurized base of operations. But it was a home, for them, for several months."

It had not been home for Security, nowhere had. But it still lingered in its memory.

[decrypter]

"Now I'm genuinely torn between asking you questions about planet survey habitats or proceeding with my original plan."

She always wants to know, to have more details of the things it mentions, to form a hazy idea of the world and things Security knows. And the mention of home is a soft reminder in her chest that she has a few questions to ask it, on assignment, but...she's also desperately wanting to know its reaction to the particular reason she came over.

[serialskiller]

"You can do both, but you still need to decide what order to do them in. There's another chair here." Come get comfortable. The day is beautiful and the library is quiet.

[decrypter]

"Okay." Drawing closer to the chair, she pauses before she sits down, hand going into her pocket. "...Hold out your hand?"

It's a request, and if it does, she takes out what she has to place it gently there. A charm small enough to be easily hidden away on someone, a pendant of green tinged gold. Nothing magical or technological about it, but she settles into the chair next to Security and folds her hands.

"I was thinking for a while what to do if the devices didn't work for some reason, if something happened, and I needed to find people. You know I can find them in one way, but that would just hurt them, and distract everyone else. But I can search for objects without raising any alarm. So, if we're separated, if something happens and I need to know where you are, as long as you have this, I will."

Where to go if she needs it, to check and make sure Security is alive, is alright, or at least where to find its body and be certain.

"It's not a tracker or anything like that. I have to specifically look, every time. It's just the one way I could think of to make sure you're safe."

[serialskiller]

It holds the pendant quietly for a long moment, then moves its other hand to take hers.

"That...is extremely thoughtful. I'm not used to the idea of people checking to see if I'm safe, usually that's my job."

[decrypter]

"I know. But if you'll let me presume a little, the ones who keep the rest of us safe should have the same extended."

Its hand in hers, she feels a secret release of tension. She'd wanted this to go over well, for it to be something at least considered for the future.

"...Besides, if something did happen, I don't believe I could rest without knowing how you were."

The charm can't tell her if someone is alive or dead - can't give that certainty. But if it's out there, there's a small bit of the worries assuaged. She cares, and that can't be made any less than it is.

[serialskiller]

"Who else have you given something you can locate?"

The phrase 'the ones who keep the rest of us safe' has it wondering about Erin, for one.

[decrypter]

"A few others. Erin, Max. Darcy, Ava, and Johnny. People who I don't wish to be lost."

But only Security's charm looks the way it does. Each of them, subtly unique, but this one definitively so.

[serialskiller]

"...human Max, correct?"

The thought of Omnic Max meeting her scares it. He knows both her name and how it feels about her.

[decrypter]

"Your roommate Max, yes."

Not the Max who electrocuted her. She has no wish to give him something so personal.

"I don't wish to lose him either."

[serialskiller]

"I imagine he had a very sentimental reaction to that." This is fond and warm, and vaguely teasing, because Max.

[decrypter]

"He did. But he accepted it, which means the most to me."

Because the intent behind these, that's what she wants to convey most of all.

"I cannot and would not compel anyone to carry these. Even if they want to leave them behind, all I ask is that they're considered."

That the idea that someone wants to know where they are is taken into consideration.

[serialskiller]

“I am going to carry mine. I just need to figure out how best to. I don’t just want to tuck it away in my pocket.”

It squeezes her hand gently.

[decrypter]

"Whatever you choose for it."

Even if it is a pocket in the end. She'll squeeze back, and smile.

"Delivering that is why I wanted to see you in person. It's easier to explain it than to leave a note."

[serialskiller]

"This is better, not just because it's easier to explain. But because I get to see you."

Is that too much? Is it awkward? It might be. Shit.

"I mean, uh..."

[decrypter]

Too much, no. Awkward, no. But something in her chest is doing small flips one after the other.

"I feel the same way."

And then, before this can get too weird, because something in the back of her head is hissing that she might make things weird:

"...Tell me a little about the humans' habitat? Did you all have somewhere comfortable to be while you had to stay on this planet?"

[serialskiller]

"The humans shared sleeping quarters--the bunks folded down from the walls. Arada and Overse stayed together. Bharadwaj and Volescu. Gurathin and Ratthi. Pin-Lee and Mensah. I had a cubicle. Tight quarters, but I was mostly there for repair and recharge, and when I wasn't in use. They didn't need me every minute of every day, of course, and it would have been...uncomfortable for me to just spend time in their space. The kitchen, their entertainment room, their hydroponics lab. No space for a SecUnit in their daily life."

This is a little bit of a lie, it was eventually invited to those spaces.

"I used to use the SecSystem and watch them, though. Listen to their conversations. Not the most emotional ones, of course. Never Arada and Overse's private moments. But how the survey was going, what discoveries they made. I was...in my own way, I was proud of them. This was a good team, better than any other I'd been leased out by."

[decrypter]

She listens with a fixed attention, making its shape in her mind. It makes perfect sense. Security was part of the team, so the team doing well was a source of contentment and pride. And if they stayed safe, it could take pride in its own job as well. Though she thinks if she says that out loud it might need moments to process the concept.

"You'd be the right one to make that judgement, after all the missions you've gone on. I imagine it's easy to pick out which ones are going to be headaches and which ones will be successful." And what people are going to be difficult as well.

"You had all your observations, but did you mind it? The...cubicle."

She's honestly just thinking about something like a box. It's still a little strange, mixing the impressions she has of Security here, where there's very little divide regardless of what people are, and remembering that where it came from, that mattered greatly. That what would matter to a human - being kept in those tight spaces - might not matter the same to a SecUnit, even a recently free one. But she's trying, because that's not her world.

[serialskiller]

"It felt safe, back then. Being isolated from the rest of the crew and watching them. I didn't socialize, back then. I was afraid they'd realize I'd hacked my governor module, that I wasn't just an obedient machine. But. I never minded small spaces. There were times when I'd be shipped with cargo, and that was the most relaxing of all, because I didn't have to act like anything. I could just relax and watch my serials."

It pauses, thoughtful. "I don't dislike my current roommate, but. Living with him, I do need to be aware and active, even in my own space, when he's around. He is in need of care, and I like caring about him. But it sometimes feels like work. Does...that make sense?"

[decrypter]

She takes a moment to consider, and then nods her head. It's a simple idea, and not a difficult one to take in.

"Yes. Because sometimes in your own space, you want to be able to simply be, not just to be asleep but to exist without needing to think about anything else."

(Secretly, she tucks this information away. She won't tell all of it, of course not, but there's something in there that she can bring out, hopefully surprise Security with at a point. Something that it will be glad for, if she conveys the sentiment right.)

And she hopes it goes unspoken that if it needs that, if it needs space to exist and be on its own, and she's distracting from that, that it will tell her. It wouldn't be an offense, to need breathing room.

[serialskiller]

"Yes. I didn't need stuff, I didn't even need a bed. I just needed...a space to be. It's funny, when I first got here--before I had to sleep, I was almost offended by the idea that I'd ever need or want a bed."

It lets out a bit of a weak laugh. "I eat, I sleep, I purr. The me I was before here would be freaked out by this me."

[decrypter]

"The self you were before wouldn't have the same memories, the same experiences. It might be taken aback no matter what physical changes you've gone through."

But there's room for it to clarify or disagree with her about that.

[serialskiller]

"Probably. And it certainly wouldn't have known what to do with this." A demonstrative little squeeze of her hand, a small smile audible in its tone of voice.

"As strange as it sounds, I think I needed the time I've spent here, to be ready for this."

[decrypter]

Strange how a single word - this - makes Helena want to stutter, and the words that could be in response fall to pieces. She's supposed to be a writer, she should have words, good ones, decent ones. And as much as she wants to conceal, it's a hard thing to do versus a construct's analysis. Thinking too much and unable to think at all at the same time. Flustered and doing her utmost to hide it at the same time, to remain closer to pleasantly neutral and finding it a nigh impossible task.

If it hadn't held her hand, she could have pretended Security meant something else. But she can't. Words about being ready, and it just underlines to her how not ready she feels, wondering if Security knows she's awkwardly stumbling and praying every time that she doesn't take a false step.

"...I don't think that's strange."

If she finds out Ava's in the room again she's going to simply go scream underwater.